August 8, 2016

The world is moving faster than ever before. More and more people are making a shift and starting a home based business. In this post, I have put together a collection reasons why I think working from home, "rocks!" Hope you're ready for a good laugh. Enjoy!

1. You can get piercings, tattoos, and you can wear whatever kind of jewelry you want.

I lost an industrial piercing, a nose ring, and an eyebrow ring to corporate. Let us all bow our heads now... Has this happened to you? If you want tattoos, and you wanna pierce your face, and you wanna wear 75 rings all at the same  time, do it! Quit your nine to five and tell your boss to shove it!

2. It's your schedule now ...

Do you know how many times in your life time you've said the words, "I can't," because of your job? What about wasting your time going to work parties simply because of social pressure? Well, it's time to take back your power because your time is valuable and now you're calling the shots.

3. You can do the hanky panky and shake it all about.

The hanky panky anytime ... Enough said ...

4. You can help anyone anywhere in the world.

The Internet has revolutionized business and now there is a whole new virtual marketplace that expands beyond physical and geographical boundaries. Would you rather work in a restaurant and wait for tourist and locals to serve? Or, would you rather learn how to serve the entire world exactly what they are looking for at the exact same time they want it?

5. You can spend more time with your family ...

Remember when one of your coworkers would say that your closest friends will be the people you meet at work because you spend most of your time with them? Well, now you can reverse that line and use it when you're talking about your family or your spouse instead.

6. You get to wear whatever color nail polish you want ...

That's right my nails are fuchsia and lime green. In fact, they're all kinds of different crazy patterns too. It's insanity I tell you! There's no rhyme or reason to any of it.  What are you gonna do about it?

7. You can work wherever you want ...

You can work by the ocean, in bed, in another country, and yes even on the toilet if you want.

8. No more gossip ...

Who knew that the whole time you were playing, "telephone," in grade school that it would serve as a metaphor for 90% of the social interactions you'd have at every crappy, ever. Now, the only social holes you'll get sucked into are on the internet and most of those are all about famous people and have nothing to do with you.

9. You can get blazed whenever you want.

I quit smoking three years ago and I advise anyone who does so to quit. However, if I did smoke or drink I'm pretty sure I'd be pretty darn happy about doing it whenever I want.

10.

When you are in business for yourself you become seasoned and you'll know what moves to make. Now, I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad but technology is moving faster then ever and when I started my first business all I could think of was the fact that I wished I had of started 10 years ago.

11. You can play video games whenever you want ...

Nope. You won't be at work because you'll be too busy killing zombies, saving the world, and breaking records, baby. Or, you'll be playing "The Sims," and you'll go to fake work instead and you'll still make more money than you used to at REAL work.

12. Career change ...

You have time to do some self reflecting when you work from home and make a career change you've always wanted. Selvester Stallone was a deli counter assistant before he made it as an actor and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres was an oyster shucker and paralegal before her claim to fame.

13. You can pass gas whenever you want ...

That's right, let her rip, I'm taking everyone out and anyone else who gets in my way.  From now on I will pass gas whenever I want.

14. You can go to a clean restroom daily ...

Oh boy ... is that the faint  smell of foreign ass again mixed in with a cheap air freshener? Sweet! Uh oh, no toilet paper, oh well, it's not like it's a freaking restroom it's the pit of hell, isn't it? I have a question, is it really that hard to flush the toilet behind yourself?

15. You don't have to hide when you eat lunch ...

If you are a social butterfly then this might not make a whole lot of sense to you. However, for people like me who are antisocial, it will. So here I am sitting alone in this loud, smelly ass room, while I'm reading a book. In fact, it's not just any book, it's an audiobook. Do you see these wires hanging off my face? Those are called headphones and it also means I can't hear a damn thing you're saying. Does the fact that I'm wearing a hoodie and dark sun glasses change your mind? Nope. You still manage to tap me on the shoulder and ask me if anyone's sitting next to me. Use your eyeballs, pick a chair, and leave me alone.

16. You can listen to whatever music you want ...

Maybe you're listening to soft rock every single day of your life at work because it's "family friendly." Or, does the idea of hearing, "Sweet Home Alabama," one more time down at the construction site make you wanna gauge your eyes out? Me? I listen to whatever the hell I want ...

17. You can finally be a real super star ...

Lights, Camera, ACTION! You're a star. News Flash! The days of sitting on your ass at home hoping and wishing that you'll get "found," or someone, "signs you," are over. You can become a star right now,  just open a window, whip out your phone, and don't forget to pay your freaking over priced bill. Welcome to Hollywood!

18. Blah ... Blah ...

Allow me to translate what your boss, coworkers, customers and company news letter says ...

19. No more stupid Memos ...

Memo: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict three minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category. Have a nice week! (credit)

20.  Hey! Where did all the racist people go ?

There are people of all races all over the world that don't give a crap what the color of a persons skin is. What do they care about? They care about whether or not you're a good person. When you work from home you aren't forced to work with low quality people who specialize in being passively prejudice about another person being male, female, black, white, homosexual ect. Also, there are people that could care less about what country you are from and they don't give a rats ass that you have an accent. In fact, we understand you perfectly fine.

21. I can eat bons bons ...

Eat powdered sugar donuts and buffalo wings with no napkins just because you can. Oh, and if you catch anyone from the health department in your kitchen make sure you punch them in the face.

22.  Your friend selection just got a whole lot better ...

Steven, the janitor from work, is a massed murderer but you are still convinced that he's your best friend. Nobody likes Steve,  and neither do you. So stop taking pictures of yourself with him at company parties, run for your life, and find some new friends for gods sake.

23. Spend more time with your pets ...

One major complaint I have about my past jobs is the fact the environment was too negative. So, in order to stay positive I had to go against the grain.  However, animals can help you grieve, offer you physical contact, keep you active, and provide consistent love. With pets in your life it's a lot easier to stay positive.

24. You can use your cell phone whenever you want.

What's that? No need to use super stealth ninja skills anymore to use your cell phone? Yep! That's right, no more hiding in the cubby whole or taking frequent, "bathroom breaks." 

25. Your colleagues can't get you sick anymore ...

Frank, for the last time, if you have to sneeze and you don't have a napkin then sneeze into your arm like a normal sensible human being. Jesus man, you're hacking up a lung and we're not buying that it's smokers cough anymore. Do us all a favor and go home ...

26. No more shameful uniforms ...

When you see me wearing a maids uniform on top of a chicken costume with a cape attached and holding two canisters of whip cream,  it will have absolutely nothing to do with any sort of goofy work uniform ... you know what I mean? (wink) Relax, I'm kidding ... Or ... am I?

27. No more being surrounded by jealous coworkers

So, you're the managers favorite, you just won your fifth award this year, you make more money than everyone in the office and you just got back from your third vacation. I bet you're wondering why everyone is staring at you. Well my friend, it's because you now have officially become the victim of what we call ... "the stink eye." Clearly, all of your, "good luck," has nothing to do with you working your ass off.

28. You can watch football ...

Now your spouse and church aren't the only things you'll be skipping over to watch football.

29. No more office shakedowns ... I mean charaties ...

Hello, welcome to work! Your fellow coworkers are having a baby again. We have left a donation jar out with a card for you to sign. Luckily, if you don't want to donate all you have to do is admit that you hate babies and that you're going to hell. P.S - We are all staring at you.

30. You can't get fired ...

Does this really need a description?

Did this make you laugh? If you liked this post or have a reason of your own you'd like to share I'd LOVE to hear it! Comment, like, and share below!

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​Marnica Lindsay

Internet Marketing Coach

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Email: marnicalindsay@Gmail.Com

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Marnica Lindsay

I give you the leadership, mindset, motivational and marketing training you've been starving for. I help you get loved, respected, and paid.